I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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