I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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