Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
