You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Randomize
