She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
