Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
