remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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