OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
