Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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