Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
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