used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Come see our sink grown plant.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize