i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize