Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
