Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
