I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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