I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
