I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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