Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just invented taco cereal.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
