I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
