dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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