perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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