The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
