i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
