he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
