so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
