So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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