so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
