is your mom at the bar?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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