If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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