Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
