blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
