Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
