and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize