im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
This baby is an asshole
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
