We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize