you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Send help, water and tortillas.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
