he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
