i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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