i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
When are your genitals available?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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