At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
