Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
