I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
