Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
