dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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