So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
