whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
