I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
