Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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