That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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