Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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