Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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