wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So much rum. So many feels.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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