she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
