You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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